Broken Repetition, Newfound Freedom

Written by Bagelgoose

Sunlight seeping through my eyelids was usually an uncomfortable feeling, the common blue hue of the light corrupting my eyes. My head causes the lights to shift, the usually friendly oranges and reds now a malicious purple and blue to me. Ever since my brother had gashed into my skull, it's been like this. It's been sickening to me. But now, this foreign feeling, it's both comforting and unnerving.

That rat, the new divine of our world, has cured me. The voices in my head are silenced. The visions have fled in fear. My mind is unbothered. It's so peaceful.

“Mum! Mum!” The cries of the shining light in my life crawled into my head. Unwarped. Unwavering. I turned to my daughter, her massive smile brightening the world beyond my eyelids. “Mum! You’re awake! Awake!” She leaped onto me, her arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace.

I looked down at her, fearful of what I would see if I fully opened my eyes. The voices left, that much is true, but were their faces still there? I was too scared to look, but I must. My daughter was right there. I must see her face in its purest form.

And so my eyes peered open, slowly. I expected his face, my brother glaring up at me on the face of my child. But he wasn't there. Only my adorable Crucify, her eyes starting to tear up as she laughed in pure joy. I couldn't believe it. His voice was gone. His face was gone. His wounds had healed. His influence upon my mind is gone.

Daughter. It’s your face.

“Katsu… Cruci. My dear daughter.” I started to tear up as well. I couldn't help but glance around the scene, the first time my eyes felt truly pure. Untouched. Unviolated. The swirls of orange and red in the sunset’s sky, the vibrant yellow in the distant sun, the rising tension of the purple and blue coming in the night. The colors were true. The colors held no deceit in them. I couldn't help but stare into the sky, the beauty of it reminding me of my younger years. The dark adoring skies, just like those of the pier I was raised on. I could smell the fresh fish by just looking up, the moist wood in the constant turmoil of the waves. I could even see his face. 

Father. It's your face.

The sheer joy I felt would have been enough to cure any plague I knew of. The sheer peace of the world now drowned me in comfort and bliss. It was perfect. This feeling of my daughter in my arms, the breeze flowing through the hair on my head, was different but welcome. Different, yet I don't fear it. How strange. As a matter of fact, there was no worry in my mind at all. Just peace. It reminded me of her voice, the lullabies she would sing to me. 

Mother. It’s your face.

I let go of my daughter and held her hands in mine, examining her face as I did. She was older, yet the hint of childlike wonder and awe remained in her eyes. Her newfound father had taken so much from her, but he meant well. In his head, she was still a daughter to him, so he said. Despite everything, I still consider him my friend. I still consider him just a ruined king, that scared man who entered a new world so long ago. I can still imagine his face, the worry on his face as he looked at my condition.

Friend. It’s your face.

I felt Katsu hold my hand as I looked into the distance, staring at the many cultists wandering around. I wonder if my dear siblings would feel the same bliss as I. The comfort of the skies, the breeze’s compassion. I wander through my mind, the house of memories within. I’ve done so much to keep it the same, to maintain the order we all craved. But I always fail. Only one man I knew could keep the peace like before. But if he's gone…

Brother… Is your face truly yours?